And it is not great. I don’t feel good about it. But that was the whole point. And I’m proud of myself for doing a not great thing.
I published an ebook. The first thing I’ve ever put out into the world that people will have to pay for.
I’d say it is pretty typical as far as first attempts go, in that it’s mostly rubbish.
As my brother always says, the first step to getting good at something, is being crap at something.
So yay! I’ve taken the first step in self-publishing!
(For those who missed the post from a few weeks ago: I decided to write a novella (a trilogy of novellas, actually) just for my EOM readers. Original fiction that will hopefully be enough like EOM to get and keep their interest, but different—quite different— in that they will be shorter and sweeter. A modern fantasy novella (series) with a guaranteed happy ending. With any luck, this can be a stepping stone from my fan fiction to my original fiction? An experiment to see if this is something I can actually do.)
And as far as experiments go, it wasn’t a total failure. I wanted to see if I could write a novella in 10 days. And I found that I could! It just took another 18 days to get my act together and get it up on Amazon. There is definitely room for improvement–of course in writing–but also in formatting and navigating rigmarole involved in e-publishing. I kept dragging my feet on learning how to put it up. In the end, I put in the minimal effort required because the more frustrated I became, the more I wanted to just forget the whole thing and not bother with it at all. Terrible, I know. So, we’re going with the logic that a bad book is better than no book? That’s probably not true. But, it’s what I need to tell myself in order for me to actually start making a career of writing.
I write this Thursday evening. When you read this, the ebook will be available, and I will be off in the woods, putting a roof on my tiny cabin, far away from the internet or any kind of cell service, so I cannot check the stats and be immediately disappointed that no one has seen it or bought it yet.
Rather than look at amazon obsessively when I get home from building, I will make some tea, read some poetry, and refuse to open my computer until the weekend when I publish another EOM chapter. Wish me luck in not looking at my KDP account for at least three weeks. (Well that failed. It is not even three pm on the same day and I am on my computer, posting EOM and checking stats and doing other things. Sigh… so weak.)
That being said, if you do read and like it, please review. That would help me out bunches. You can get it here.
(But look at his lovely cover my brother did. Quite possibly the part of the book with which I am most pleased.)
As evidenced by my previous post, I was in New Orleans (fully vaccinated and wearing a mask in all public spaces, for those who may be concerned.) And writing EOM was…. Easy? Perhaps that’s the wrong word. But it just flowed. It felt like, “yes, you are in a new place, you should be writing this.” Things that had me stuck at home just resolved while I was in a new place. It felt wonderful.
Though only writing while I’m travelling is not a sustainable plan. I cannot travel enough to write all that I want.
Hence the routine.
Every book on writing I’ve ever read has stressed the importance of making writing a habit, incorporating it as a part of your routine. So, I’ve done my best to establish one, and, surprise surprise, I’ve been more productive!
My writing routine is:
When travelling – just writing every day at any time, because everything is stimulating and it’s seems all I want to do is write.
When I’m not travelling, I try to leave the house by 7am (this was the case before the pandemic and now again since I’m vaccinated.) Libraries and cafes work best. Monday through Thursday mornings I work on Where Power Lies, (which is currently over 70,000 words and a little more than half-way done. No doubt it will take lots of cuts and redrafting editing in future, but not today!
I’ve started putting my phone on Do Not Disturb, that rather than just silent for my morning hours. It’s too easy to get derailed. Just as one gets into a flow, one is brought out of it again by a text or a news notification. Already doing just this has upped my word count.
Another part of the routine, (inspired by Rachel Aaron’s book 2k to 10k) is to take five minutes before I start drafting, to write out in a notebook what the scene(s) I am about to write will be like. It only takes few sentences, and it really focusses my mind.
Fridays (like today!) are for EOM and perhaps also a blog post, if I have anything at all to say. (And it appears that today I do.)
Yes, I need to keep to a routine. It will allow me to complete projects and get more writing done.
But nothing will compare with the joy of writing in new place. I feel I write my most and best when I’m experiencing a place for the first time. I’m more observant, I make connections, ask questions, and am just filled with a general sense of wonder and curiosity. And that of course, is immensely helpful in the creative process.
I have plans for a vacation this autumn for Morocco and Spain, which Delta variant is seriously menacing. The intention was (and still is, for the moment) to write fun shorts while I’m away, based in the location I happen to be! I’m really looking forward to those projects. My future travels will inspire a little series of stories that I hope to put up on Amazon and other e-book platforms. I just want to put something out there. Get it over with. Break the barrier and start sharing my work, even if it’s rubbish.
Oddly, I do not have this hangup about fan-fiction. For some reason, fan-fiction readers seem much kinder and go into a story wanting to enjoy it. I know any readers for novels and novellas I e-publish will never be as wonderful as fanfiction readers. (Unless they are my fan fiction readers. Would I be so lucky.) But I can’t let that stop me from putting my work into the world… (anymore.)
So the plan is:
1. Post a new chapter of EOM next Friday (yay!)
2. Finish the first draft of Where Power Lies by the end of August (a stretch goal, to be sure, especially considering that I also want to finish building the cabin by then, too). And,
3. (Travel gods willing) write story or two during my vacation, and publish them as little e-books (probably in November? An untraditional but worthy NaNoWriMo project.)
So there. I’ve put my routines and goals out there in the world, and now I can be held accountable.
Do you have a routine? Any tips or tricks you’d like to share?
It has been five years. Five years since I’ve posted on this blog and five years since I updated EOM. I want to say the world has changed, and in many ways it has. Some for the better. Chapter 83 (where James finds out getting a marriage license is impossible) was written before gay marriage was legalized in the United States. So hurrah! (It would be a surprise to no one who reads EOM that real-life issues inspire many elements in the story.)
But more obviously, the world has become a darker place. I am from the United States, and while the world as a whole is dealing with Covid19, here there has been a steady dissolution, or hollowing out, of the institutions that make democracy possible.
In the last few chapters of EOM, we saw specific groups in society arrested with no provocation and often killed in the process–those in law enforcement facing no consequences. This has not changed in five years.
In chapter 83, a panellist on a radio programme said, “Wizarding world for wizards,” and that muggleborns should be locked up or not allowed entry into the wizarding world. This was written before Donald Trump’s presidency. White nationalism was already alive and thriving, but the Trump presidency has invigorated and (seemingly) legitimized it. But this is a post for another time.
Also, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize now for future chapters. I took a five-year break. An athlete who does not train her body for five years will not perform at the level she did at the peak of her career. So it is with me.
I wrote most of Chapter 84 a long time ago, and it (and I) got stuck in a dark place. Azkaban is not a happy place for your mind to be stuck. (Spoiler alert- dementors = depression. That feeling like you’ll never be cheerful again? And I could no more write my way out of that chapter than I could write my way out of depression. Indeed, I’m still in Azkaban, I’m pretty much always in Azkaban.
Just some days the dementors are nearer than others.
But mental health is also a post for another time.)
So at the time of publishing chapter 84, mostly old work, I was struggling to write the chapter that is to follow. My writing is weak— my creative muscles are barely capable of lifting a pen. I know I’m a worse writer than I was five years ago.
Blogging will be my cross-training—reflective non-fiction to do in between daily prose sprints. (I’ve also started running during the pandemic, and I’m afraid the mindset is leaking into my other pursuits.)
I often fear that two fanfictions, EOM and Professor’s Discretion, will be the best work of my life. I’m certainly proud of PD, it’s the only writing endeavour I’ve ever finished and been satisfied. I’ve never gone so deep—politically, emotionally, and in terms of plot— in my original fiction as I have with those two. But those characters were already formed, people’s attachment to them already steadfast. I cannot create that from scratch, nor carry over the care I took with those. I don’t know that I can do it again, even now.
And as I was going back through previous chapters to prepare to work on the next, I was surprised by my own writing—everything I’ve written recently is so staid and colourless. I was actually impressed with past me, at the description and the depth and the intricacies of it, and disappointed with the present me. I tried to write up the rest of the chapter but couldn’t. I tried multiple times. Somehow, I couldn’t get any traction, couldn’t find any footholds. I just couldn’t get a purchase on the story to pull it, and myself, forward.
Until one day (yesterday, as it so happens), by some miracle, I found the old falling apart notebook in an old backpack that had fallen apart, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to throw away because it had given me ten years of faithful service and I kept telling myself I’d find some use for it. The notebook inside contained 76 pages of chapter 84 and parts of Chapter 85.
The notebook itself I bought in Serbia and I’d taken it with me all around the Balkens. Inside the old thing was a single-page print out map of a city where I had stayed—Prizren, in Kosovo.
It was folded and tattered, but I opened it, and on the back, in blood-brown ink, was part of what will be the next chapter. And I suddenly remembered.
In Prizren, there is a tall hill. Near the top, was a cafe, perhaps there still is. I had had spent the better part of an afternoon hiking up it. My plan had been to tarry in the cafe a while and write, but I finally got there only to find I had somehow managed to come all that way without my notebook. I had the map of the city though, and filled the page with tiny handwriting.
I can’t believe I used to write it longhand. I have written over half of EOM with pen and paper. Half a million words. So many notebooks. Where are they now? (I know one is in Saldanha Bay, South Africa, when both notebook and I took a tumble into the drink.)
Did my hands used to cramp? I don’t remember.
I have therefore decided to write EOM in by hand, rather than on the computer. It might solve part of the problem.
Another might be that I’ve always written elsewhere. Travelling and writing were part of the same process. If I travelled, I wrote. If I was writing, I was travelling. But now I am implacably stuck at home. No real possibilities of the yonder.
At least I know I’m not alone with this.
In any case, here’s to trying again.
~Kathryn
Let me know in the comments below any questions or topics you’d be interested in hearing about! (I can’t promise to answer all questions completely, but I’ll do my best!)
