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Here is a link to my my Creativity Planner. I created it for myself, and am sharing it with the world in the hopes it helps other fellow neurodivergent creatives be more productive.
And here is a link to my series, Relearning Magic! The third, Nature of Magic, is now available!
IT IS FINALLY OUT! (Get it here. Unless you haven’t read the first two. In which case, start here.)
Okay, now that’s out of the way…
Preptember…?
In October, I will be traveling to the location where my next book takes place, and I’m going to do my best to get 50k words that month, and half of those while I’m abroad. Again, an ambitious goal that I’m unlikely to meet, but even if I fail to reach 50k, I’ll still get lots of work done, touch wood, and visit a lovely part of the world. I do appreciate it when people take me on vacations, I get to go places I wouldn’t be able to afford on my own.
But since October is going to be my NaNoWriMo, September is my Preptober… Preptember? Plantember? Anyway, the month is almost over and I’ve hardly started planning. I’ve been trying to get NoM done. But now it is, so I can happily shift to my next project.
(A hint as to the location for the next book: I have been studying Portuguese in preparation.)
Thoughts on “Autumn vibes”
I love the cosy autumn aesthetic. Truly. I want it to be my life. I could watch videos on loop of women with perfectly manicured hands slowly making cup of tea or coffee and lighting a candle next to a pillow for their morning routine.
I want that.
But I’m not that. I need to hit the ground running first thing and try to get as much done as I can until I run out of momentum. If I have a beautiful slow morning, that’s it for the day. I’m so at peace and relaxed, I just ride that vibe. Today is a great example. I woke up, made tea, and went outside to appreciate the cooler morning and sat and read a book that I’ll be discussing in a book club tomorrow. It was glorious.
But I didn’t do anything for the rest of the day, despite having plenty on the to-do list.
It was a lovely morning. I didn’t achieve the beautiful instagram aesthetic, though. I’m not effortlessly beautiful. Not even with tons of secret effort to look effortlessly beautiful. Nothing can alter that. (That is not a cry for compliments. I know what I look like and I like that my face is a bit villainous.)
I want a peaceful, beautiful clean home and workspace, minimalist and appealing and all hygge-y.
But that’s not who I am. I am a chaos person. Things do not stay tidy (if they were ever tidy to begin with.) So I will have to satisfied with cosy chaos and being effortlessly average.
Imposter Syndrome
I’m glad I can finally share this blog post. I started it last week, but I didn’t want to post anything until I actually published Nature of Magic. It is more expensive than the other two, but it’s also more than twice as long as the first. Ugh. It makes no sense. I feel like a fraud trying to trick people into spending money on something I’ve written, but, isn’t that the goal? To be a semi-self-supporting author? To make a living by writing? And how am I supposed to do that if I do not charge for my work?
I want to get paid for it. I just don’t want to charge for it. It makes it seem like I think I’m worthy, when I don’t think I am. The audacity, to make people pay money to read my work. $5? Who do I think I am? (I spent almost $20 on a book today, but it was Ray effing Bradbury. And I am not even close to Ray effing Bradbury.)
Moving on…
I will try to keep up with the blog while I’m abroad. Posts might be shorter. Or longer, who knows! I already write more when I’m away.
Nope, moving back to autumn vibes. Still not over it.
How are you celebrating the coming of autumn? Or, if you’re in the southern hemisphere, the coming of spring? Both the start of spring and autumn seem like much better places to start anew than January first. So arbitrary. It should definitely be at the change of seasons, and that change should be splendid and awe-inspiring. We should do autumn and spring resolutions.
Yes. Boom. Doing it.
My autumn resolution, or mantra, I suppose, is to always be writing. Fiction, blog, journal, letters, nonsense. I want to entertain myself more with my writing. I want to always be running out of ink, for my fingertips to be forever stained. (That’s an exaggeration, of course, but I want to think of writing in more than just in terms of work, but as solace, comfort, entertainment too.)
If I were to set a measurable goal, it would be to publish this next story by the end of the season.
What about you? Any autumnal (or vernal) resolutions or mantras? What do you want to remind yourself going forward this season?
Having read the first draft, my mother remarked that I’d overused the ‘had + past participle’ construction.
I reminded her that she had only herself to blame by sending me to a school that required Latin. The pluperfect should be used if one event happened further in the past than a more recent one. Straightforward. And as the narrative is already in the simple past, there will be many uses of the pluperfect tense. Just a fact.
I know that I could use the simple past for both, but the pluperfect (pluscuamperfecto, le plusqueparfait, plusquamperfekt) is used freely in so many languages that I’ve studied that I don’t actively think about it. But this might be a time where studying so many other languages has made me sound less like a native English speaker. And I don’t want my book to sound stilted (or more stilted than it probably already does.) I will go back and change some of them to simple past, if it sounds more natural, colloquial. English is not Latin. It’s not even a Romance language. The rules are not so set in stone.
She (herself a student of Greek, which also employs the pluperfect, or ὑπερσυντέλικος, which, like all other words for pluperfect, means ‘more than completed’) agreed to look again, but now I’m self-conscious about it. Self-conscious enough to begin my blogpost with grammar—never a good sign.
The rewrites are nearly done (apart from the reread to specifically look for the pluperfect), and ready to pass back like a hot potato to the copyeditor. Before it is published, or at least soon after, I was thinking of another chapter for EOM, which is more than half done. But so few people are still reading, it hardly seems worth it to continue, the only reason to keep working on it would be if those readers actually bought by other stuff. A few have, but a very few. Not sure it makes all the time and effort writing EOM would require worth it, financially, emotionally, creatively.
I have so many other projects I want to be working on once I finish the Nature of Magic. The travel adventure series, my dark academia duology, a Persuasion retelling (with swords) and numerous little magical or romcom novellas.
I met with a brand specialist yesterday. I won an hour of her time by making a fool of myself on stage. A bargain! I make a fool of myself for free all the time. So I have some steps to follow to get more satisfaction out of my writing, and more money. Sigh.
Both are important.
In a few hours, I am going to refill the well, as they say, by going to the Museum of Art. I will come back here later to report.
~
It’s now Saturday. These were some of my favourite exhibits.
This is a ceiling. I just lay on the floor and gazed for a while.
Take care, everyone.
I was, perhaps, premature in gifting myself this LamyAL-Star in Tourmaline to celebrate my finishing Nature of Magic.
I sent the draft to my editor, promptly got sick and collapsed for a few days. (I am waiting for at-home covid test results as I write this post.)
Then this morning, I received both my lovely lovely pen and an email from said editor entitled “DON’T HATE ME”.
I haven’t read her comments yet, but I think it’s fair to say that I am not as close to publication as I’d hoped.
Still aiming for a September publish date, even if there are still many rewrites in my future.
But let’s talk about something else, like… my favourite time of year.
BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING!
(You thought I was going to say autumn. And yes, I do love autumn, but it has the unfair advantage of being associated with back-to-school-ness.)
It should be a holiday, in my opinion, celebrating learning, presents (or school supplies if you like—same thing) and anticipation of new beginnings! I’m not in school anymore, but I still love shopping for school supplies. I’ve already bought my planner for 2023 (I’ve boarded the hobonichi techo train, and got myself the weeks version) a set of midliners, and, of course, the new Lamy and a pretty bottle of ink in amazonite, which I managed to dunk my thumb in the moment I opened it and now under my nail is a lovely shade of green.
In other news, I ordered a bike online a few months ago and it FINALLY CAME! I’ve been riding it everywhere, even though my city is not the most accommodating for cyclists. Still, I love it. I rode every day to where I would write, got my work done, rode back, and boom, work and exercise done before noon. If I accomplish nothing else with my day, still pleased. (I’ve even ridden it throughout this rainy week we’ve been fortunate enough to have.)
And speaking of rain, it has been lovely reading weather.
And just what am I reading?
BABEL!
So so so so so so good. I have been waiting for this book to come out for MONTHS and yes, I did go to Barnes and Noble the morning it came out. I’m really enjoying it. Taking my time to savor it, because I know I’ll only get to read this for the first time once.
All the the vibes. Seriously, it puts my own dark academia resistance story to shame and I LOVE IT.
(I took that photo in my car after just having left the bookstore, considering maybe I should just read a chapter or two in the truck before I went home.)
Anyway, one last plug to please buy or read on Kindle Unlimited my Relearning Magic series. I’m told that I should not make any post without plugging my stuff.
Sounds tedious, but I’ll try it this time, just to see.
That’s all for today.
Oh, wait. An update! Both my partner and I tested negative for Covid! We’re just… sick with something else that is also miserable. Hurrah!
How much my word count improves when I have an accountability buddy!
Actually, I have two.
One is geographical, we meet every morning in the same location, to do work.
The other, on the other side of the world, keeps track of my word count progress, and I hers.
Now, of course, in an ideal world, I would be able to keep myself in line, be able to complete all I set out to just through will power and intention alone. But not only am I human, I’m a human with a brain that doesn’t generally like to do the executive function things. So while it’s hard to show up for myself, it’s easier and more interesting to show up for others.
We all need someone to shout at us sometimes.
In fact, I got a text from my accountability partner asking how I was doing. I confessed I was at Barnes and Noble, struggling to come up with blog content. She recommended the use of accountability buddies in writing, pretty much proving the point of how valuable she is.
So, shout out to Alexandra in London, for giving me the inspiration and the idea for this post, and for encouraging me every day. And thank you Susan, for meeting me at six o’clock nearly every morning in coffee shops across the city.
Between the pair of them, I think I’ve doubled my word count?
All this to say, that the last book in the Relearning Magic series (which I’ve decided to call The Nature of Magic) is nearly done!
Not only do I have missing scenes needed to fill in a few gaps, it still has to run the battery of edits and rewrites. But the end of this experiment is finally approaching and I can move on to other projects, my darlings like Where Power Lies, and my travel adventure series.
(Fun news, but the location for the first book in the travel series is decided, and I’ll be traveling there in October. More on that as it draws closer, I don’t want to jinx it. But I am very excited to travel again with my family, and I hope that aside from a bunch of wonderful memories, I also get a book out of it.)
It will be my first attempt at a modern Mary Stewart, to be available by the end of the the year.
Now I’ve told you, now all of you have to hold me accountable to that! Pester and demand! Or you could be nice and comment words of encouragement. They are both effective.
It has been a while. Only because nothing of import has happened (in my personal life, though the world has been happening non-stop). I’ve written words and read books and continue to slog through the summer heat with everyone else. I’ve been nowhere. I nearly boiled myself alive in the cabin a couple weeks ago, and despite that, I still enjoyed it. Going again today, as it will be rainy and overcast and below 100 degrees F (37.7778 de C).
Along with sweating and reading and writing, I have, of course, been doom scrolling, pulling out my hair, protesting, and spending hours at a time curling inwardly, cravenly cutting myself off from the world until I feel like I can brave it again.
For those of you who don’t know, I live in Oklahoma, the worst state to be a woman. And also, just one of the worst states to live in, generally. Terrible health outcomes, low insured rate, poor access to healthcare, poor representation, poor voting rights. Poor poor poor. Most recently, since the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, it is illegal for a woman to get an abortion, and it looks as if soon it will also be illegal to travel out of state in order to get a safe and legal one.
Dystopian future novelists have plenty of inspiration these days. I know people who are now calling our home state Gilead.
And yet.
And yet.
When you go out, just like no one wears a mask, as if the pandemic isn’t happening, people go about their days smiling, as if we are not descending into a hellscape.
What does one do? Move out of state? Not an option for so many.
“No! Stay and change the system! Vote them out!”
Yes, yes, but remember those voting rights I mentioned earlier? That includes the ability to legally gerrymander, AND local states can change their voting results to whatever they want it to be instead of what the people actually voted for. They know how they failed in 2020 and they are going to make it so that in 2024…
I rile myself up, even if I’m not reading the news.
And yet.
And yet.
I still stubbornly ride my bicycle (on streets not meant for feet or bikes, but only cars) with books, a baguette, and a bouquet of flowers in my basket. Because I like to pretend that I live in a place where that’s actually a thing, and I’m not a weirdo who looks like they are posing for an instagram post.
I’m growing aggressively greener. I’m that annoying person who gives you a judging look if you don’t bring your own travel mug to a cafe but use and throw away a to-go cup. I use a debit card that plants a tree every time you swipe, I offset my carbon emissions by giving to Wren every month. I’m doing these things that don’t feel like much. I am composting, riding my bicycle when I can, trying to reduce waste as much as possible, attempting to grow my own food, (though this summer has been so scorching I lost my blueberries and strawberries. Only my lemon tree, goji-berry shrub and my neglected dragon fruit cactus survive, but none are fruiting.
But the world is still on fire.
What are you doing to stay sane? Reading is both an escape and not. Writing is both an escape and not. Because it’s impossible not to compare the world in the book to the world in which you live.
Friends are essential, but you inevitably end up discussing the disasters of the day.
Most mornings, I meet with my mother for coffee, we chat for a few minutes and then ignore each other and do our own work. It might be the nicest thing.
Seriously. What are you doing to bring yourself joy? I’m looking for (inexpensive/free) ideas to bring more wonder, joy, or beauty into my life.
Any ideas?
This post will be a an assortment of what’s been on my mind lately.
This.
https://www.politico.com/news/2022/05/02/supreme-court-abortion-draft-opinion-00029473
And this.
Currently reading these:
(Friend me on Goodreads so we can book-stalk each other.) https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15019355.Kathryn_Amonett
My partner and I are talking about selling his car (though it’s 20 years old, so not sure how much we’ll get for it) and getting an e-vehicle. I already have an e-motorcycle, but it’s not always safely ridable in Oklahoma wind and weather. But I’m not prepared to empty my savings, such as it is. I’m trying to think of ways I can live even greener. I am going to start a vegetable garden, but alas, I am not a greed thumb. 28th time’s the charm? I love love love the idea of eat fruit and veg fresh from my own garden, but the things I grow are not edible, let alone appetizing. But I had a really blue few weeks and plants make me feel better, so giving gardening another go! I just let my own yard grow wild, but I’ll cultivate in a raised bed (which is a first. Maybe this is the key to success!)
Unsurprisingly, having two e-books on amazon does not make for a full time income. Can’t even buy groceries with it. So I’ve been giving plasma for money. Apart from the disastrous first attempt when I passed out, it’s been going well! It’s not the most glamorous life-style, but hey, it helps. It pays for groceries and books, at least! (Life’s two necessities.)
I have a writer’s conference this weekend, so I have an opportunity to make local writer friends and network some! I’m half excited, half worried that I will be the only one wearing a mask.
Anyway, if you haven’t already, you can get books from my series here.
And my Creativity Planner here.
Please give them a read and a review!
Until next time, keep reading and keep trying to make the world a bit better.
Currently Reading: The Cartographers
The Old Woman with the Knife
So I finally caved and joined Book of the Month. So much of my reading is digital—I’ve missed physical books. And I have friends who do it.
I think I’m a bit of a book club addict? I can’t seem to talk about books enough with people. I’m in four book clubs (two with humans I know, one digital, and one new group at a local bookstore.) But it still doesn’t seem like enough? I just want a buddy who will read every book with me so I always have someone to discuss it with. The problem is, I’m a slow reader. Any buddy would finish long before me. Ah well.
The real trouble is the same all readers face: too many books, too little time.
After publishing Familiar Magic, I took a small vacation to luxuriate in some extra reading time this week and it’s been so wonderful but like any holiday, returning to reality is a bit of a bummer. Not getting to read all day every day? Boooooooo!
While I’ve always been a big proponent of e-readers–being able to take an entire library with you anywhere in the world, being able to access any book at any time you want–I will allow, there there is something inherently enjoyable in reading a physical copy. Especially a hardback. It just seem like a more indulgent experience? As if the book itself is telling you to take your time. You don’t have to listen at double speed to finish this audiobook before the library loan period expires. Nope. This is yours, here for whenever you want to come to it.
I will always appreciate my kindle and ebooks. Of course. (I write ebooks, after all.) But sometimes, reading a paper book is just that extra something that you can do to treat yourself. (The only drawback being smudges or whatever I’m snacking on in the pages.) It’s classic for a reason. I think there is an entire section of instagram just of books and reading corners with hot drinks. Spring is fast catching up to summer, and cosy corner reads in blankets will turn to finding a nice spot outside under a tree or a sunny park bench. That is how I intend to read Breaking Bread with the Dead… a book club pick for April.
What is everyone reading?
Familiar Magic, the second in the Relearning Magic series is (finally) out! Hurrah!
Of course it is now April, which means it is Camp NaNo again, and yes, I’m working on the next in the series. My hope is to have the third and final one out by May’s end. Finger’s crossed.
Where Power Lies, the full length novel I’ve been working on for over two years should be out in the summer. (On for over. Three prepositions in a row!) If I had any business sense I would already be promoting it. There is a whole process for an indie author’s book launch; you should be doing blog or podcast interviews, there should be a cover reveal, a pre-order date, a big hoopla.
I’m terrible at hoopla. I’m still trying to get my head around the finishing the work and the posting the work. Advertising and release schedules are advanced level.
So for now, here is my new book. Please leave reviews, and recommend it to friends (you think will enjoy it.) It helps others see it.
I’m still sort of in denial that this is what I do now. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. Can’t wait to write out the novels that have been in my head and heart for so long once this little trilogy is done.
(Along with the writing, I’m finally getting proper medical treatment for my heart condition and it has made my life so much better. I don’t know why I went so long not taking care of myself!)
Anyone else hold off on doing something for so long? What made you finally do it? Or what’s still holding you back?
I have many weaknesses as a writer—too numerous to mention. But one, I realise, is probably more off-putting to readers than the rest.
My descriptions, especially of people.
“I want to know what happens in the story. Who cares what they look like?” I ask myself.
Well, a lot of people, it turns out. People who have a better imagination than I.
I can’t remember the faces of people I know in real life. Can’t conjure their image even if I’ve known them since I was a child. When I think of them, appearance isn’t something my brain provides. When I try, the image it conjurers is unusually their profile photo from social media. (I can recognise them when I see them. Usually. If I know them well. Voices I remember.)
It’s one of those things that you don’t realise about yourself until you learn that others aren’t like that. Some people, when reading, apparently have a full technicolour film running through their head. When I read, I can follow the action, gestures, thoughts. But unless it’s somehow part of the story, (he had a vicious scar from his vicious past, or only one eye that unnerved people when it fixed on them…) the face just doesn’t appear. It’s blurred out. Many times, their body is a blur, too. Clothing almost never distinguishes itself unless minutely portrayed by the author.
There is a word for not being able to imagine anything.
Aphantasia.
I can bring fuzzy images to mind, so I’m at least somewhat phantasic, I just can’t help but feel that a writer ought to be vividly phantasic. (I keep wanting to spell it, phantasTic.)
I’m not going to give up on writing, of course. I love stories and storytelling. But this is something that I will have to be more mindful of, and take care to practice going forward.
Do you also imagine vaguely? Or do you have the full movie going all the time? Let me know in the comments, I’d really like to know how many people are vivid imaginers and how many aren’t.
I’ve been working on finishing the tiny cabin. I’ve heard the coyotes and the owls, seen deer, mink, armadillo, followed tracks of racoon, bobcat and, worryingly, wild boar. (My greatest real world fear is having a run in with a wild hog. A bear or cougar, you could make yourself big and loud and convince them that you aren’t worth the trouble. But that would only exacerbate the situation with a wild hog. There is, in fact, nothing you can do in case of a hog encounter but try not to die. Best case scenario you scramble up a tree and live the rest of your life up there as an incompetent monkey.)
But beside that, I’ve learned a bit about myself during this project.
First, that perhaps my calling in life is not writing after all, but being a woodland creature. Failing that, I think I could be a creditable witch of the woods, brewing my little concoctions and getting the news from my crow informants.
The only downside to this existence would be the lack of library access.
Witches must frequent their local libraries now and again, mustn’t they?
Not that I don’t have a nice little collection of books there already.
I’ve got bird books and plant books and wildlife books and tracking books so that I can tromp about and identify the species of the faeces and tracks I come across.
There is something wonderful and cowardly about being out there. Because of Covid, I can’t go anywhere, but at the micro cabin, I can forget about covid and everything else. I don’t have internet so I can’t read the news. It’s just me and the junkos most of the time. (Juncos are like sparrows, but… you know, juncos.)
I’ll spare you all the nature writing I’ve been doing lately. Turns out I go all Walden while I’m out there (though no pond for me.) But it’s nice to take a break and write poems about crows and coyotes, juniper trees and ladybugs.
I think this could very easily turn into a wilderness blog—just nature writing and photos of bits of poo that has me very excited because it’s a new animal for the log. But! I will try my very best not to let this be the only thing I write about, here.
So! I will say that I enjoyed a book recently. The Maid, by Nita Prose, is a murder mystery about friendship and neurodiversity and I ate up the entire story in one day. No regrets. Let’s see, I did that with another book recently—a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, called Bryony and the Roses. A short and entertaining read. I think I’m on a B&B retelling kick? Because I also read For the Wolf this week.
Despite having literally hundreds of books on my TBR list, sometimes when the library tells me it’s finally my turn to check out this book I reserved a spot for weeks ago, I’m no longer in the mood to read that book now that it’s mine. I want something else.
What is everyone else reading right now that they would recommend? I want…. Something. I’m not sure what. Need a wide variety of recommendations. Dark and wholesome? Is that a thing?